Take it away Gizmodo:

How many times did you hear your parents yell at you to “turn down that racket” as you blasted songs from your speakers? Turns out, they had a few reasons—a new study has found that kids that spend a lot of time listening to loud music are more likely to smoke weed, binge drink, and have unprotected sex. Lord save them all!

Researchers in the Netherlands determined the “music-listening doses” (which is a real term they actually used) of 944 students ages 15-25. They asked them how loud they listen to their tunes, how much time they spend plugged into their iPods, and how often they go to clubs and concerts.

They determined that if these subjects listened to music for longer than an hour a day and at more than 89 decibels (about the same level as a lawnmower), their behavior was “risky.” If not, it was designated as “totally lame.” According to that cutoff, about a third of the sample were risky with their MP3 players and about half were exposed to terrifying levels at clubs and shows. The clubheads and concert-goers were six times more likely to binge drink and twice as likely to get it on without a rubber. Dangerous MP3 listeners were twice as inclined to have hit the bong in the past month. But the researchers pointed out that there’s a chicken/egg caveat—they don’t know if listening to ear-drum smashing music drives kids to smoke the dope or vice versa. Because if you’re in a club, chances are there’s going to be a sketchy guy in a track suit trying to get you to buy coke. And come on, kids that are going to these places know what they’re getting into.

The silly study didn’t identify what genre of music was most risk inducing, so let’s go ahead and assume that all loud tunes will put the fire of hell in the loins of your teenager. That and it might cause them to go deaf.